Finding My Way

"As soon as possible, make a legal u-turn." - The Voice on My GPS

I'm directionally challenged. Okay, it's a little more than that. I never have a clue where I'm going. This afternoon I will head up to Cathy's lake house on Belmont Lake, just north of Havelock. I can get to Havelock easily enough but once I'm there, I already know I will struggle to find the house. I've been there a dozen times.

Merv has the best sense of direction of anyone I've ever known. Jacob inherited the trait from his father, thank God. A few years ago Merv bought me a portable GPS - one of the best presents ever. For years he told me when I got lost driving, to listen to my instincts - if my instincts told me to turn right, then I should turn left. Sad, but true. Then he bought the GPS. Jacob set the voice on it to a man with an English accent named Ken. Jacob thought it was funny for an English man to bark orders at me. When I bought my BMW last year, I got a built in GPS. The voice commands were preset. When I tell my car to do something like dial a phone number or change the radio station, I give the command to a man. When I get directions, I get them from a woman. For some reason, that amuses the heck out of me. I call the woman dwelling in my GPS, Buffy. The problem I will have today is that the lake house is on an unassumed road. Buffy won't know how to get me there. So even though I've been there a dozen times, and I will try to find my way, it is far more likely that I will have to phone the lake house and ask someone to talk me in. Very embarrassing but the reality of my life as a directionally challenged woman.