The Hardest Goodbye

"Food, like a loving touch or a glimpse of divine power, has that ability to comfort."   Norman Kolnas

The shortribs are simmering in the slow cooker and the chili is simmering on the stove. Tomorrow Jacob is going back to school and I'm cooking up a storm to fill his freezer. Before we head to Guelph, we will stop at Costco and shop to fill his pantry. At least I won't have to worry about whether or not he's eating.

 It's hard to believe the summer has already passed. The days are still warm but the nights have become crisp. I will soon pack away my sun dresses and take out my sweaters. The Weekend to End Women's Cancers is little more than a week away. I have a book launch party and a reunion of old friends to look forward to. I'm trying not to be sad. Jacob is leaving. It's still hard.

The First Goodbye

“May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.” Irish Blessing

It is once again the season of goodbyes. My kids are going back to school. Tonight Jon came over for a last hug before he heads to Dalhousie in the morning. Tomorrow I will drive Courtney home, her last visit to Toronto done for this summer season. Sometime next week I will say goodbye to John, Sasha, Anthony, Wen Hao and Sara though it seems I saw them so little this summer, we barely said hello. On Friday I will drive Jacob to Guelph. Away from home for another year. I am already crying.

Eventually I'm going to get better at parting. I've had enough practise. I don't know why it's still so hard. It's just so different when Jacob is away. The house isn't just quiet, it's vacant. How one person can leave such a vast void is a mystery. But when he's not here, nothing feels the same. I should like some of it. I've been tripping over five pairs of his shoes at the front door for months now. Even when I put them away in his room, they mysteriously reappear within hours. I've decided to just leave them. In a few more days they will disappear and I suspect I'll miss seeing them greet me as I walk in.

A few nights ago, a bunch of the old Bayview Glen gang went out for dinner. Merv and I were also out. When we got home there were a dozen pairs of shoes at the door. The volume of chatter from the basement was high enough that I wouldn't have been able to hear the TV on the main floor if that's what I had wanted to do. But it wasn't. I greeted the kids and then sat upstairs savouring the sound of their laughter. The whole house was smiling.

The Agony of Defeat

"Winning is not everything, but wanting to win is." - Vince Lombardi

I have enjoyed watching the Olympics these past two weeks. At this point Canada has the same number of medals as we had in Beijing - albeit fewer of them gold. We have only once heard our anthem played as a Canadian medalist stepped onto the podium. It was been thrilling though to see our athletes accept their medals, no matter what the colour.

One thing I have really noticed about the games this time is the unprecedented number of tears being shed during interviews of the athletes. Tiffany Foster wailed on camera after she was disqualified because her horse had an injury. Diver Roseline Filion sobbed through an interview after finishing 10th and BMX rider, Connor McCormack cried pitifully when interviewed following his semi-final race when it turned out he did not qualify for the final. What is up with all the caterwauling? I understand that these athletes are disappointed but these public displays during interviews seem, at least to me, to be rather unbecoming and unsportsmanlike. In contrast, I didn't see the Women's Soccer Team crying after the game they lost to the U.S. team and they had good reason to cry. I know they made some controversial comments about the Norwegian referee but they didn't publicly cry. And Damian Warner exuded happiness when he finished fifth in the decathlon - thrilled to get so many personal bests and to be in London in the company of world class athletes and his family.

When the torch is extinguished on these games tomorrow, it is those athletes I will remember.