The Second Season

"Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead." ~Mac McCleary

It is said in Ontario, we have only two seasons - winter and "under construction". As it is clearly no longer winter, we are fully ensconced in construction season in Toronto. What should have been a thirty minute drive home from Wellesley and Bay this afternoon, turned into a nearly two hour ordeal. Every major north-south artery is under construction - at least that's what the signs say as they narrow three lanes into one.

What puzzles me the most is that though the lanes were blocked, cones and sandbags in place, I didn't actually see any area where work is being done. What I did notice were throngs of motorcycle police officers standing at the edges of the construction zones watching the traffic. I've been downtown three or four times in the past month when traffic was being halted by motorcycle cops for long periods and no apparent reason. Call me a slow learner but after the third time of getting stuck I think I figured it out. Metro police are practicing for the G20 summit. I suspect that's what most of the road closures are about too - practicing for the paralysis of the city soon coming our way.

I for one am opposed to holding the G20 summit in downtown Toronto. Almost all the business downtown are going to be required to close their doors for the whole week of the summit. Union Station will be closed. The subway will not be running south of Bloor Street and violence is not only feared but anticipated. The financial district of the country's largest city will be barely, if at all operational. It is anticipated that there will be more security in Toronto than there was for the Vancouver Olympics. The costs will be oppressive.

Nonetheless, we will have the G20 summit to deal with at the end of next month and we will, no doubt, find a way to cope. I do wish though that the torture of Toronto's citizens wouldn't be in full force more than a month before the actual event.

Rock of Ages

"I wanna rock! (Rock)
I wanna rock! (Rock)
I want to rock (Rock)
I wanna rock! (Rock)

Turn it down you say,
Well all I got to say to you is time again I say, "No!"
No! No, No, No, No, No!
Tell me not to play
Well, all I got to say to you when you tell me not to play,
I say, "No!"
No! No, No, No, No, No!
So, if you ask me why I like the way I play it
There's only one thing I can say to you

I wanna rock! (Rock)
I wanna rock! (Rock)
I want to rock (Rock)
I wanna rock! (Rock)

There's a feelin' that
I get from nothin' else and there ain't nothin' in the world
That makes me go!
Go! Go, go, go, go, go!
Turn the power up
I've waited for so long so I could hear my favorite song so,
Let's go!
Go! Go, go, go, go, go!
When it's like this I feel the music shootin' through me
There's nothin' else that I would rather do

I wanna rock! (Rock)
I wanna rock! (Rock)
I want to rock (Rock)
I wanna rock! (Rock)"

- Lyrics of "I Wanna Rock" by Twisted Sister


An exhausting work week closed for me yesterday with an evening at The Royal Alex to see Rock of Ages. The tickets were a birthday gift from Jacob to Merv. As has become our pre-theatre tradition, we had dinner at Big Daddy's Crabshack. Looking at the three of us sitting in the restaurant must have been some sight. Jacob was nearly comatose after completing a mind-numbing week of IT trivia at work. Merv was showing the signs of wear from completing his first week at his new job. I was so tired, I barely touched my dinner. I was at the Inter-Continental Hotel before 8 o'clock yesterday morning to co-present a seminar on Bill 162. I knew the likelihood of getting home before the theatre was small so I intended to bring a pair of flat, comfie shoes. I should have had coffee before I left. By two o'clock my feet were screaming in my stiletto pumps and there was no extra pair of shoes in the car.

I couldn't quite imagine how I would gather enough energy to really enjoy the show. I had a big cup of coffee and thought at the very least, the music would be loud enough to drown out any sleep sounds I might make. But Rock of Ages turned out to be a performance I couldn't sleep through. It was funny, fresh and light. There was no big effort required to follow the plot (there isn't much of one), I knew the music and when I could get away with it, I sang along. Merv and I both thought it was laugh-out-loud funny, at times. Jacob looked amused but not quite as engaged as Merv and I. Fair enough, the music wasn't from his time.

As much as I enjoyed the show, I started my preparations for driving home at the intermission. I had parked my car in Metro Hall, entering with my credit card. In the interest of being a little bit organized, I decided to pull out my card and tuck it into a place where I could easily locate it to use when exiting the garage. A casual, then a more frantic search revealed I did not have the credit card. So at a quarter to eleven I returned to Big Daddy's. Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I realized I did not get the card back when I paid the dinner bill. Upon entering the restaurant we encountered the manager. He was unaware of any credit card being left behind and the dining room was closed. Nonetheless we found our waitress in the kitchen. She found the card after we left and left it with the hostess who apparently tucked it into the desk. But a search of the desk by a couple of people yielded no credit card. Success finally came when someone asked the bartender. Forty-five minutes later we were home. I'm not sure if my head actually touched the pillow before I was asleep.

Today my boys are headed to a Toronto FC game. I planned to sit on the deck and string pearls but the sky is gray and a bit threatening. The pearls are blue and very tiny. I don't know if I will be able to see to string them if I'm sitting indoors but if not, there are several things I will do to amuse myself today. I'm reading Kitty Kelly's unauthorized biography of Oprah. I'm planning on a long soak in the tub and I may wander over to Bayview Village to see if someone can slot me in for a pedicure. Or, I may watch sappy old movies and sleep. It is a day to recharge my batteries - even the Eveready Bunny eventually runs out of juice.

Having A Day

"No good deed goes unpunished." - Clare Boothe Luce

I'm having a day. I've been working too hard, doing too much, giving too freely. My clients should be kissing my feet. Instead, the world seemed to wake up on high whine today. I've been barraged by criticism - all of it based on untruths and severely skewed, self-serving statements. Though I easily cleared up the misconceptions, thus stopping the unfair criticisms, I find myself completely drained and exhausted tonight.

I intended to spend the evening preparing for a seminar I am co-presenting on Friday on the new Ontario Bill 168 related to violence and harassment in the workplace. It is a convoluted and confusing law which is causing a lot of heartburn to H.R. practitioners province-wide. I still have a distance to go before I've got my arms around the implications and obligations the law will impose on Ontario companies beginning June 15. The truth be told, despite my best intentions I haven't done a bit of work tonight. I can't focus on or digest the contents of the many booklets that are sitting on my table.

Instead it has been an evening of American Idol and mindless television. Despite a twinge of guilt, I'm hoping the break will allow me to summon enough energy in the morning to push through my work with some speed. I suspect I don't have another twelve hour workday left in me this week.

Loving Sara

"How beautiful is youth! how bright it gleams with its illusions, aspirations, dreams! Book of Beginnings, Story without End, Each maid a heroine, and each man a friend!" - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

In the Fall of 2008 I watched Jacob as he showed the signs of interest in a new girl. He had recently ended his romantic relationship with his first girlfriend and though he wasn't talking, I was pretty sure he had his eye on someone else. Long before he was prepared to tell me who the new someone was, I figured out that it was one of his schoolmates, Sara.

Sara wasn't in Jacob's usual gang of friends so I had never met her. She is a beautiful girl, dark skinned and exotic with the figure of a fashion model and the curls of an angel. Jacob finally went public with the romance (after I told him I already knew) and I had a chance to meet Sara when I picked Jacob up from her house one day in November. She reached out to shake my hand and I immediately pulled her into a hug. I knew in that moment, I had met the daughter of my heart.

Jacob and Sara's romance lasted until the end of the school year in 2009. When Sara ended it, I felt sick. Jacob was hurt. He is my child and I love him more than life. But a big part of me struggled with what the end of the romance would mean for my relationship with Sara. Was she breaking up with me too?

Over the summer and through the school year when Sara went away to study in Ottawa, we managed to forge a relationship of our own, independent of Jacob. Sara and Jacob made their peace and resurrected their pre-romance friendship which eased my maternal concern. When Sara was home for holidays or school breaks, we met for lunch, shopping or pedicures. We text and email often and chat on the phone. Today Sara spent the day with me. We didn't really do much of anything. We talked, had lunch and looked at some old pictures. She talked to me about her life and I talked to her about mine. It was a wonderful day.

For many years I thought a lot about what I missed by having only one child. Jacob is all I could have hoped for and more. But I believe I would have been a great mother to a daughter too. And then I met Sara - the daughter of my heart and suddenly the void got so much smaller.

Mother's Day

"On Mother's Day I have written a poem for you. In the interest of poetic economy and truth, I have succeeded in concentrating my deepest feelings and beliefs into two perfectly crafted lines: You're my mother, I would have no other!"
~ Forest Houtenschil

I love Mother's Day. It is a celebration of the very best part of me and my life. I am a natural born mother. I've loved every day of motherhood these past eighteen plus years. Being celebrated on Mother's Day is like the icing on the cake.

I started my day being presented by Merv and Jacob with a new Sony Book Reader. I was more than thrilled when I saw the box. I've wanted a book reader for more than a year since I bought one for Merv for his birthday last year. It used to be that when we went on vacation, Merv and I would each bring four or five books and then we would swap books when we were done. But since Merv got his reader, I have had to take a seven or eight books when we go away on vacation and when we were in Aruba, I ran out. My luggage weighed a ton. I would find myself on the beach at the end of the day or week, giving my books away to other tourists who might enjoy a good read. Now that I have my book reader I won't need to worry about it. It holds more than 1,000 books. And just to make it extra special, the reader is pink. I am thrilled.

This afternoon I went to see my mom and to participate in the Mother's Day tea taking place at the nursing home. I did see mom but she didn't see me. She was so tired after lunch that she went to bed for a nap and she slept the whole time I was at the nursing home. I left some pink roses and a card from Jacob in her rooom.

My boys made dinner tonight which was a real treat. We were joined by our friend John Petersons whose parents Nancy and Aivars have gone away for a few days. Merv made cedar planked salmon, rice and asparagus. It was a delicious meal.

All in all, it has been a terrific, special day. The truth is though, everyday of my life has been special since August 17, 1991. Not only was a wonderful child born that day but a lucky mother was born too.

May Days

"The world's favorite season is the spring.
All things seem possible in May."
- Edwin Way Teale

These first days of May have flown by in a blink. By the end of today Jacob will have his first week of work under his belt. He is finding the work a bit tedious but is doing it without complaint, grateful for the chance to earn money this summer. As he pointed out to me after his second day, the work is a bit boring but at least he isn't flipping burgers at McDonalds. Merv ends his last full week of employment at Unity Life. He has had a series of lunches and dinners all week and says he can already feel the extra pounds creeping on his waistline.

I've had a good week of work and pleasurable activities. I'm working on developing a management training course for one of my clients. I will be teaching the course on May 18. A few days later I will be speaking at another seminar along with my friend David Cote on Bill 168 (Workplace Violence) which affects all employers in the Province of Ontario. It is a complex law which imposes onerous obligations on employers and I'm hoping to get some work helping companies meet their obligations. I spent a few hours this week making some new jewelry including a lovely copper pearl necklace and some terrific sterling and crystal earrings. Yesterday I spent the afternoon with my friend Geraldine helping her to make a pink rosary. My creative juices are flowing - inspired by the beautiful sunny afternoons and lush ravine outside my windows.

The weekend promises to be busy. Merv and I will attend a 50th birthday party for one of his colleagues tomorrow and I will celebrate Mother's Day by spending some time with my mom on Sunday. She, of course, won't understand that it is Mother's Day but that really makes no difference. I know and that's enough for me.

You've Got a Friend

"When you're down and troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night.
You just call out my name,
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running,
To see you again.
Winter, spring , summer, or fall,
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yes I will.
You've got a friend.
If the sky above you
Should turn dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
And soon I will be knocking on your door.
You just call out my name and you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you got to do is call
And I'll be there, yes I will.
You've got a friend.
Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend?
When people can be so cold.
They'll hurt you and desert you.
They'll take your soul if you let them.
Oh but Jacob, don't you let them.
You just call out my name and you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter spring summer or fall,
All you've got to do is call.
And I'll be there, yes I will.
You've got a friend, oh Baby.
You've got a friend, ah Honey.
You've got a friend."

- Adapted lyrics to James Taylor's, You've Got a Friend

When Jacob was small, I sang to him every night when I put him to bed. "You've Got a Friend" was one of his favourites. I adapted the lyrics to each song I sang to make them a little bit personal for him. When I got to the part of "You've Got a Friend" where I sang of the dangers of people "hurting and deserting him and taking his soul", I always sang "Oh but Jacob, don't you let them". This morning Jacob started his new job. He left home wearing the new clothes we bought last week. He looked professional and grown up and confident. I'm sure he well do well and people will treat him kindly. Just the same, I had an overwhelming urge to sing "You've Got a Friend" to him before he left.

Tonight Merv will attend the first of his going away events. He is facing it with a bit of trepidation. I encouraged him to try and enjoy every moment of being heaped with accolades and praise but he is struggling. I understand, it is not easy working out his notice period. I've had a lot more practice than he has so it has not been as traumatic for me when I've done it. Merv, on the other hand, has only done it once before and that was nineteen years ago.

Merv and I attended a great function last night at The Royal Conservatory. Our friend Marg who is the Executive Director of the Geneva Centre for Autism, offered us tickets to a fundraising gala and concert called "The Autists". It started with a reception and silent auction, then moved to a live art auction curated by Charles Pachter and ended with a concert featuring Matt Savage and Chaka Khan. As we were treated to the tickets which had a sale price of $250 each, Merv and I were committed to supporting the cause through the purchase of something at the auction. The art was a bit out of our league, with one small painting fetching a price of $160K but there were a number of nice items on the silent auction table. We each went home with a new ring, mine a wide white gold band with white and black diamonds; Merv's a yellow gold checkerboard of black onyx and white mother of pearl and white diamonds. Merv also bought soccer tickets for he and Jacob to enjoy on the long weekend in May.

It is a lovely day today, sunny and warm. I have some housework to do and some client work but I plan to squeeze in a bit of time today for some beading on the deck. The ravine is lush and glowing which should be all the inspiration I need for a few new pieces.