"Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm sixty-four" - The Beatles
Tomorrow marks the tenth anniversary since I began writing this blog and my 64th birthday. I used to write in it quite frequently but a glance at my last entry shows me I have not written in it since January. I guess I've been living in my head quite a lot. I've been in my pre-birthday reflective period these past couple of weeks. I've been trying to figure out a bunch of things - not just the direction of my future but also the truth of my past. That is to say, I've been trying to get to the core of who I really am, free from the roles, confines and expectations that have been both self-imposed and imposed on me by others. Becoming an orphan has been hard on me. But after all the months of introspection, inside my grief and pain and even joy, I discovered one truth about myself. I am resilient.
No matter what hand I get dealt, I have so far managed to play it the best way I know how and when I have to fold, I keep getting back into the game, no matter what. I am resilient. I have three times come back strong from critical illness. I am resilient. I have walked through hell and kept on walking because I am resilient. I don't know why it took until 64 to figure it out but I'm awfully glad that I did.
