Mitt, Newt and Other Mysteries

"The Democrats think Republicans are stealing elections. The Republicans think Democrats are stealing elections. Those of us independent of the two old parties know they are both right." - Kevin Zeese

I don't understand American politics. I'm fascinated by them but I don't understand them. I've been watching the Republican primaries. It's a bit like watching an Ultimate Fighting Competition where the warriors are trying to do as much damage to one another as possible, no holds barred. They say terrible things about each other and run TV ads that cast terrible aspersions on each other's reputations. Nothing is sacred - not marriages, not finances, not the most basic elements of personal integrity. All this to win the party nomination. But at the end, only one person wins. What I can't get a handle on is how the party wins after their own members have publicly denounced one another and aired all the dirty laundry.

Won't all the things Newt said about Mitt's finances, come back to bite the Republicans if Mitt gets the nomination? Heck, the Democrats won't even need to write their own ads. They can just replay the ads Newt's people are airing right now in Florida. Not that Mitt is any better. He is running all kinds of ugly attack ads on Newt. Aren't these people afraid that the voters are still going to remember this stuff in November?

It sure makes for good TV but I find it hard to believe there can be any real winner in this fight. The Ugandan's have a proverb that was shared with me by my friend Melody when she was there a few years ago - When two elephants fight it is the grass that suffers. Seems an apt expression on this side of the ocean too.

The Blue Dragon

"BREATHTAKINGLY INVENTIVE! Lepage...combines theatrical sleight of hand with striking imagery that suggests an animated painting or a live film. Genius!" - Martin Morrow, The Globe & Mail

There is no arguing that the staging of The Blue Dragon at the Royal Alex is clever. Perhaps "clever" isn't quite a big enough word. The production is two hours long with no intermission so if you go, you'd best hit the bathroom first. Presented in French, English and Mandarin and sur-titled in English, it is at times, a challenge to pay close attention to the actors and read the sur-titles simultaneously, so as not to miss any of the dialogue. Merv dozed through sections of the first hour and missed some significant portions of the play. I was more successful in paying attention even when the play felt slow but I must admit, at times I found it tedious to read my way through. Of the three languages that constitute the dialogue, English is the language spoken least. And the translation was at times odd. I understand enough French to know we weren't getting a very fulsome translation of the French dialogue.

The play was well acted and visually interesting but I don't know what to make of it. We both walked out shaking our heads. It was interesting and clever but also slow and boring. The story is strange - very, very strange. I didn't love it but I didn't hate it either. At least there was enough substance in the story to give me something to ponder. I've seen worse.

Sixty-Five Candles

"To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time." ~Clara Ortega

I kicked last week off with a celebration of my big sister Nancy's 65th birthday. The celebration was a welcome change from the sorrow of the days that preceded it. A family dinner on Saturday night was followed by a dinner on Monday for ten of Nan's friends hosted by Cath and I at Jerusalem Restaurant. Part of the great fun of the evening was being entertained by my two sisters who joined in with the restaurant's belly dancer. Nan may be 65, but she can still shake it like a young chick. After dinner we all came back to my place for birthday cake and champagne. We laughed and reminisced. It was a good start to a healing week.

The rest of the week was busy, consumed with work and studies. The coming week promises much of the same. Jacob and I agreed today to try and find a bit of time this week when our schedules will allow us to have a couple of hours together. My calendar is jammed but I will move things around if there is any way possible so that I can have a little face time with him. I know it's only been two weeks since I saw him but it feels so much longer. I can hardly wait to see him.

There was an interesting article in today's Toronto Star about the ill effects the mild winter is having on our environment. I know it's not great for the trees, birds and insects but I must admit, it sure feels good to me.

Homage in Red

"I have known great things and wonderful persons, and I have known homage."
– Lillie Langtry

We said goodbye to Bev today in a packed funeral home chapel, in a sea of black and red. Bev loved the colour red. When she knew the end was drawing near and was ready to speak about the rituals of death, she asked to be cremated in her red dress. So as homage to her, many of us added a touch of red to the mourning clothes we donned for our last goodbye.

The service was faith based, Catholic, though there was no mass. The priest spoke of life, death and resurrection. He did not seem to know her and it was generic in its tone. When the formal rites of the service were over, the eulogies began. There were seven. Two of her three children spoke as did her uncle, brother-in-law and three friends. All spoke of her kindness, abundant love and zest for life.

It has been a long day. A sad day. A day of grief and a day of celebration. It is now time to let the healing begin.

RIP Beverley

Life is eternal, and love is immortal,
and death is only a horizon;
and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.
~Rossiter Worthington Raymond

Beverley passed away today in her sister Geraldine's loving arms. Brian and her parents were also with her when she made her transition. Beverley got sick on Christmas Day 2010 when she began to experience vertigo. It was not until the week before Easter that she learned she had cancer throughout her body which had metastasized to her brain. Over the course of these months, Bev faced her illness with dignity, optimism and courage. When she learned a couple of months ago that her treatments were being discontinued due to their ineffectiveness and that her days were growing short, she met her prognosis with the same dignity and courage.

Beverley is survived by her husband, two daughters and one son as well as her parents and three sisters. My prayers are with them all and my heart is, of course, with Geraldine.

Godspeed Bev.

Back in the Rhythm

"Action and reaction, ebb and flow, trial and error, change - this is the rhythm of living. Out of our over-confidence, fear; out of our fear, clearer vision, fresh hope. And out of hope, progress." - Bruce Barton

Jacob is back in Guelph. The twelve days of Christmas are officially done and the rhythm of the new year begins. I'm starting off the year busy - a good harbinger of what is to come. Another human rights complaint filed against one of my corporate clients is not good news for them but it's good work for me. Add that to some other consulting projects I'm working on and some personal projects and my time is full.

I was very sad to leave Jacob yesterday. It was the first time in a long time that I was unsuccessful in hiding my tears. It has been so wonderful to have him home - every day a pleasure whether passed in holiday celebration or quiet, comfortable companionship. The time flew by. But he needs to do what he needs to do and that means tackling the next semester of school. And I need to do what I need to do and that means work and study and support for those around me who are still in the midst of their own trials.

Defying all understanding, Geraldine's sister, Beverley, is still alive. Though she was expected to pass on Christmas Eve, she hung on and rallied on Christmas Day. Though tenuously, she continues to live, mostly with one foot on the other side but still lucid at times. No one can explain. Perhaps there is no explanation. Clearly she is not ready to go yet and when she is she will. In the meantime though, her family continues to struggle and I continue to make supporting Geraldine, one of my top priorities.

A week from tomorrow, my darling sister Nancy will celebrate a milestone birthday. I'm still trying to figure out what gift I can give her that will be special enough to mark 65 years. Nan doesn't need or want things and so I generally try to give her an experience. Cath and I wanted to take her away on a vacation but she doesn't want to go. She won't leave my mom even for a weekend so I need to come up with some other idea. I was thinking perhaps I would look to see what is playing at the theatre and buy some tickets for a matinee performance. That way she won't even have to leave my mom for an evening - another thing she hates to do. Tomorrow I will also go to my favorite Queen Street jewelry supply stores and see if anything speaks to me that could come together as a special piece for Nan.

Into the rhythm.

Ninety Candles

"Old age ain't no place for sissies." - Henry Louis Mencken

My mom turned 90 today. We celebrated with cake and a couple of hours spent with my sisters at the nursing home. It is hard to believe Mom is 90. She has known much illness in her life, much hard work, much sorrow. But also much joy. My mom reveled in her role as a mother. Nothing brought her more joy than the success of her daughters except maybe the birth of her grandson. She was married to my dad for 47 years before he passed away at just 72 years old. She is the eldest of her three siblings – all of whom passed long ago. Her dad died when she was just 12. None of her siblings saw old age, two of them passed in their 50s, one in her 60s. Her mom lived until she was 92. That was Mom’s inheritance – the Renaud genes that brought her to this old age.

When we put her in the nursing home seven years ago, I did not expect to see this day. She was declining rapidly then. It didn’t take that long until her mind was mostly vacant and she had lost her ability to intellectually connect to us. But in some ways, she is still here, still herself. Many years ago I attended a lecture by a gerontologist. She said that what really happens to people as they age is that they just become more of themselves. And that is what Mom has done. I watch some of the other residents in the nursing home. They have gotten violent and aggressive. They moan and mutter and yell. They hit. But not Mom. She smiles and the very odd time when she speaks, she will call one of her caregivers “Honey”. She is never aggressive, never angry and certainly never violent. She is just more of herself - calm and sweet and still very beautiful.

Happy Birthday Mom. I love you.

The Faces of Facebook

"If you friend request me on Facebook and your profile picture is a car, I will assume you're a transformer." - Anonymous

I’ve been thinking a little bit about Facebook, particularly about people’s profile pictures. It took me ages to find a picture I could use on my profile page. Even then I’m not very happy with it. It seriously shows the wrinkles in my brow. Once it was up, I figured that was that. Find a picture, load it, live with it. Done. I’m amazed by some of my Facebook friends who seem to change their pictures every week or even more often. And I’m intrigued by the photos they choose.

Geraldine looks amazingly like Barbra Streisand. My sister Cath still hasn’t loaded a picture. My brother-in-law Stan shows a photo of a goat in sun glasses. One of my friends is identified by a pair of very high-heeled pink-soled shoes, another by a photo of a fork. Several friends use pictures of their children. My friend Stephen is identified by a picture of his late wife.

I’d love to read a study of the psychology behind our Facebook photo choices. Unless, of course, that study would indicate I’m boring and uninspired. Maybe it’s best to just stop thinking about it. Or maybe I’ll look for another photo in which my brow doesn’t look quite so rutted.

De-Christmasing

"Christmas is over and Business is Business." - Franklin Pierce Adams

I was happy today that I did not do as much holiday decorating as usual because today I took the decorations down. Jacob's friend Abby is here for a couple of days. She and Jacob very kindly gave me a hand this morning. Six hands made the work go fast and I was so grateful to have Jacob to lug everything downstairs. I'm still fighting my way through the flu and my energy levels are a bit low.

Packing away Christmas is one of those tasks I really don't like. It's not that it's hard but rather that it makes me feel a little bit sad. I so much look forward to Christmas each year that I hate to see it end. And as I normally do so much decorating, the task is large. But as this year I was far less feeling the spirit of the season, I didn't do as much in the way of decorating - not that I think anyone noticed. The two trees were still decorated, the bannister still covered in boughs, Santa stood guard in the foyer and the house was filled with angels. My beautiful Christmas china dinner set accompanied by the matching hand painted crystal goblets made it out from their storage closet but few of my other Christmas pieces did.

A couple of years ago my friend Jen gave me three gold-leafed wooden letters - JOY. I leave them on the table all year long as a reminder that in our home and our lives, joy is not limited to the Christmas season.

Happy 2012

"Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve.  Middle age is when you're forced to."  ~Bill Vaughn

It is New Year's Day morning and we are at Cath and Stan's lake house.  The temperature is rising to record levels and the winter wonderland we've been looking at for the past couple of days is slowly melting away.  Everyone is about to head out for a walk - everyone except for me that is.  I've been dealing with a lousy bug the last couple of days.  What I thought was a little head cold developed into a flu-type virus complete with headache and sick stomach.  I managed one glass of champagne last night but no dinner.  I didn't want to take the chance after I lost my lunch.  So for much of yesterday, I slept.  I did manage to get up around 11:00 P.M. and stayed awake long enough to usher in the new year.

It has been an exciting weekend for us in one way.  Merv and I are here at the lake with Cath and Stan, Marg and Bob and Brian and Geraldine. On Friday, Brian was made an Officer of the Order of Canada - a huge honour.  We are all very proud and have enjoyed following all the news coverage these past couple of days.  Other than that, it has been a quiet weekend.  We've been playing cards and watching music DVDs and movies.

I wish all of you the happiest of years.  2012 is going to be a year of change for the world - a universal shift of energy.  Change equals opportunity.  I plan to seize every one.