Bathing Suit Shopping

"People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow. "
- Erma Bombeck

It occurred to me a couple of days ago that most of my bathing suits have seen better days and I should probably buy a new suit before Merv and I head to Puerto Rico for our sun vacation. So I summoned up all my courage yesterday and headed out for a session of self-torture. There is nothing like bathing suit shopping to make me feel bad about myself. I bought a great suit last year but I was at my all time heaviest then and the suit was a bit big for me even when I bought it so it's definitely out for this year. I thought I might consider something different than the standard black one piece this time - a two piece with a full waist-high bottom and a hip-length top. By the time I had shopped for an hour, I would have been happy to settle for the standard but it would seem a new suit wasn't in the cards for me yesterday. The choices were poor. The prints ugly. The cuts insufficient to contain my curves. I hate bathing suit shopping.

After dragging myself from one end of the mall to the other with no success, I gave up and decided to go to a movie instead. The Vow was the next movie playing at the mall theatre so I bought a bag of popcorn and settled in. It is a sweet movie. No violence. No graphic content. No bad language. Just the kind of movie to soothe a wounded bathing suit shopper on a Tuesday afternoon.

Certainly Not Simple

“The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.” - Oscar Wilde

I found myself quoting Oscar Wilde today at the opening of a workplace investigation for one of my clients. It was a long morning that resulted in many tears, a few revelations and some significant learnings - at least for the young woman who lost her job at the end of my investigation. I did some learning myself. Investigating in the days before technology was different than it is today. I've been operating under the assumption that people are savvy enough, smart enough, to realize the risks of saying things on text messages or in emails. But apparently, not so much. At least I know one person is smarter tonight than she was this morning. Lesson learned - the hard way.

I've been reflecting a bit on technology and the "technology generation". So much of their normal lives is still foreign to a middle aged Luddite like me. I'm a Facebook friend to several young people and through those friendships, I often see things posted on their friends' Facebook pages. Sometimes it shocks me - not just the pictures of the drinking and partying, but most especially the pictures of teenage girls in provocative poses and the language so widely used. Saying the "f-word" is one thing. Writing it in a Facebook post is another. I wonder why they don't seem concerned about a potential employer seeing or reading their stuff and what kind of an impression it might make. I wonder if they worry about their parents seeing their posts - though apparently not as they have not set any privacy settings and so I, a complete stranger can see all their stuff and so of course can their parents if indeed they are interested in looking.

I'm also intrigued by some of the friend requests I get on Facebook. I don't have the vaguest idea who these people are. That they are friends with someone I'm friends with, often overseas, means nothing to me. Their lives are in no way aligned with my own. I'm not interested in what they are making for dinner tonight or what they thought of the football match in some obscure English town. Today I got a friend request from someone who I still haven't been able to establish any connection to. I don't know who she is or who she is a friend to or how she found me in the first place. As I am wont to do, I clicked "ignore".

Another Funeral

"I know for certain that we never lose the people we love, even to death. They continue to participate in every act, thought and decision we make. Their love leaves an indelible imprint in our memories. We find comfort in knowing that our lives have been enriched by having shared their love." - Leo Buscaglia

I was very surprised and saddened on Monday morning, to read in the newspaper that the wife of one of my former colleagues, had passed away. Judy was just 50 years old. I read the death notice just a few minutes before I was heading downtown to sit an exam - the first I have taken in thirty-six years. I was nervous but somehow the solemn news of her passing helped me to gain some perspective. It was just an exam - success largely a matter of pride but not of life and death. I sat the exam and now await results, not expected for about six weeks. Depending on the outcome, I will or won't write more about that another time.

Today was the funeral. The mass was at a large Catholic church in Mississauga. Participation in mass, for me, is a matter of rote. I can normally do the responses in my sleep. But some things recently changed in the celebration of mass and suddenly it seemed quite foreign to me. Not a frequent church goer, I felt a little bit lost. There were no books in the pews to guide me through. The church was pretty full, though the pew I was in stayed empty save one lone man who sat at the other end. I saw some former colleagues arrive in clusters. Most did not acknowledge me. One old colleague on the executive team smiled and gave a brief wave. A couple of others looked right through me. After the mass, people collected in front of the church. I gave David, Judy's husband, a hug and then stood alone while waiting for the bereaved family to head for to the cemetery for a private service. I didn't see anyone I knew and after ten or fifteen minutes, realized that the family members weren't leaving anytime soon so I headed toward my car. Another one of my colleagues from the executive team walked by and looked at me without stopping. I touched her arm and we exchanged some quick hellos before she raced to her car. Time for me to take my leave. As I backed out of the parking lot I spotted more ex-colleagues, chatting in groups. One man gestured to me to roll down my window and when I did we exchanged a very brief and somewhat awkward hello.

As I drove home I thought about the strangeness of these interactions. I was on good terms with all these people. We were not friends but we were friendly, though from the day I started that job, it was clear to me that I was entering a private club that did not want me as a member. And here I am, years later - still the girl on the other side of the one-way glass. Feels like high school.

Wildlife Confusion

"There is a way that nature speaks, that land speaks. Most of the time we are simply not patient enough, quiet enough, to pay attention to the story." - Linda Hogan

The wildlife in the ravine today is so active that the animals almost seem frenzied. It is strange to see this level of activity in February when the ravine is usually quiet. The squirrels are running and jumping as if they are in a race. Foxes are openly prowling in the daylight hours and the birds are abundant. A pair of woodpeckers has been busy pecking one of the leafless trees right behind our house. Robins are swooping in and out in flocks of tens. Tiny terns, fly en masse at rapid speeds and with a wing motion that at first glance makes them look like butterflies.

With no snow and unseasonably warm temperatures, it seems the animals are confused and think it to be spring. The national weather forecast is for the spring-like weather to continue through the month - bad news for environmentalists, skiers and ski hill owners; good news for the City of Toronto coffers which won't be strained by high expenditures for snow plowing and road salt. And good news for those of who don't count winter as our favourite season.

Groundhog Lights?

"This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather." - Phil Connors

Am I the only person who has noticed that a whole lot of people still have their Christmas lights up even though it's February 2? I don't ever remember a Groundhog Day that looks more like December than February. Was there a memo I forgot to read? It can't be that the weather has been too inclement to take the lights down. On the contrary, it is strangely warm. There is no snow, no ice, nothing of note to prevent people from taking their ladders out of their garages.

Tonight I went with my friends Geraldine and Brian to the private opening party of a new restaurant on Yonge Street near Eglinton. I easily counted fifty houses between the restaurant and home where the Christmas lights were still in full blaze. I just don't get it. Admittedly they lend an aura of festivity to the winter night but they still seem odd to me.

Wiarton Willy didn't see his shadow this morning, predicting an early spring. It will be here in about six weeks. Punxatawny Phil saw his shadow, predicting a late spring arriving in about six weeks. Don't you love Groundhog Day? The groundhog sees his shadow or doesn't. Spring will come early, in about six weeks or late, in about six weeks. Either way, he's right.

Happy Groundhog Day Birthdays to my friends Nancy and Fran. And Happy Groundhog Day to all.