Birds

A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song. ~Chinese Proverb

The ravine is very dense this year with foliage so abundant on the trees that I can see almost nothing of the ravine floor. That means the only animals I see these days are the raccoons, squirrels and rabbits that frequent our backyard. But there are birds.

For some strange reason the birds seem different this year. The breasts of the robins are redder, the cardinals are brighter, the blue jays are bluer, the gold finches are the colour of the sun. Sometimes the brilliance of their colours catch my eye as they fly against the dense green leaves or perch on our deck. I was horrified the other day when a beautiful cardinal hit our bedroom window and fell to the canape below it. But he soon righted himself and flew away. Last summer there were too many dead birds on our property for my comfort. The gold finches kept flying into the windows on all levels and on both sides of the house. Merv tried to scoop them up before I saw them, knowing how upset I would feel. But there were a few that he didn't see before I did. There was also a beautiful woodpecker laying dead on the deck one morning. Seeing it there made me feel sick.

I get that it is a part of nature. The hawks must have their dinners too. I know it happens but I don't want to see it just the same. It is like watching the foxes hunt in the ravine - a fascinating part of nature but I don't want to see that either. And I try not to think about the noticeable decline in the number of feral cats in the neighbourhood that we've seen in the last two years since the fox population boomed after a few seasons of a sparse fox population due to some sort of mange.

I think tomorrow I will fill and hang my new hummingbird feeder. I love hummingbirds.

Finale

"If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed." ~Lily Tomlin

It's a big week in television. The season finales for Glee, American Idol and Dancing With The Stars. The end of Oprah. I haven't watched much of Dancing but I enjoyed the final competition night tonight. I love Glee and American Idol. Both are on tomorrow night though the winning Idol will not be named until Wednesday night. Oprah's very last show is on Wednesday.

Because I have a board meeting at the clinic on Wednesday, Geraldine and Nan will join me to watch the last Oprah show at two o'clock. I will make a nice lunch for us and open a bottle of champagne. I wish Cath could join us but she can't take time away from the office that day so it will just be we three. I will miss Oprah. I've learned a lot over these twenty-five years by watching her show. She has inspired me to dream great dreams, to find my courage when I've needed it most, to understand that even the smallest gestures and kindnesses can make a big difference in the lives of people. She has been a teacher, an entertainer and a friend. I can't think of a single thing I will be inclined to turn on during the daytime when there are no more Oprah shows to watch.

Come to think of it, with the season finales this week of Glee and Idol, I can think of few reasons why I'll be interested in turning the television on at all until next September.

Goodbye Dear Friend

Our truest friendship is unfinished.
Our fondest memories, undiminished.
I gave what I could, when I could give.
I lived with honour while I lived.
I loved you all. If you love me,
Give what you can. Remember me.

"Always be mindful of those less fortunate." - Percy Vermeersch

Those are the words written on the memorial card I picked up at the funeral home yesterday when I attended the visitation for our friend Percy. It was a long afternoon, fraught with tensions and emotion. Percy's wife Carol and his daughters and son remained mostly composed throughout the afternoon. Carol only brimmed with tears when she first saw me and then when we said goodbye. Though I normally stay for only a few minutes at visitation, circumstances warranted that we stay for the best part of the two hours of the afternoon session. People came and went who had been associated with Percy through the years of his devoted employment. Some, like Merv, left the company on their own terms. Others were pushed out. Though there were many hard feelings and strained relationships, for the most part, people behaved graciously. After all, we were all there for the same purpose - to mourn the loss of a good man who touched all our lives.

At the funeral today the small church overflowed with close to three hundred mourners - the vast majority from out of town. Rather than an organist, Percy's brother provided all the music for the mass, playing his guitar and singing. When the mass was done, the priest turned the pulpit over to one of Percy's oldest friends so he could say a few words about an extraordinary man. His remarks were brief but kind. He reminded us of the things Percy valued in life - God, family, friends and service. Not that any of us really needed reminding. Percy lived his every day in service to God through service to people.

The funeral mass was followed by a reception at a local marina. It was held in a beautiful room overlooking the water. On a sunny day it must be a wonderful view. But today, the skies were gray and the air was frigid. And somehow that seemed right.

Percy

You and I will meet again
When we're least expecting it
One day in some far off place
I will recognize your face
I won't say goodbye my friend
For you and I will meet again
~Tom Petty

I woke up to a very sad email from my husband on Wednesday morning. Our friend Percy passed away. Percy was just sixty-five years old, very recently retired and adjusting to life without the employment he loved until forced out by a cruel employer. On Tuesday Percy decided to enjoy the beautiful spring weather on the golf course. When he didn't return home, a family member went to look for him. He was in the parking lot of the golf club, dead at the wheel of his car. In seemingly perfect health, Percy had a massive heart attack and died instantly. The doctor told his wife that he probably didn't feel a thing.

Percy and his wife Carol are two of the most fundamentally decent people I have ever known. A couple of years ago, they bought a new home in Collingwood so they could live nearer to their daughter and granddaughter, Madeline. Madeline was the apple of her grandfather's eye. She was born with a severe scoliosis and a defective heart and has endured multiple surgeries.

Merv and Percy worked together for many years. Even after Merv left the company, he and Percy continued to meet for lunch regularly. We spent a weekend at their Collingwood home a couple of summers ago. We traveled with them many times on the various work trips we took when Merv and Percy worked together. It was always a relief for me to know they would be there. Not all the wives of Merv's colleagues were very kind or gracious. I could always count on Carol to be a friend.

Tomorrow we will drive to Collingwood to attend the visitation. We will stay overnight so we can also attend the funeral service on Monday morning. The mass will be held at the Catholic church where Percy served as a deacon. He was a man of great faith.

God speed my friend. We will miss you.

Mother's Day

"There is an instinct in a woman to love most her own child - and an instinct to make any child who needs her love, her own." ~Robert Brault

The day is beautiful. The sun is shining in the morning sky, almost making the unfurling leaves look electric. The ravine isn't quite in full spring splendor but I predict that tomorrow or Tuesday we will hit green day. Today is Mother's Day. Merv and Jacob spoiled me this morning with wonderful gifts and an offer to either take me out for dinner this evening or stay at home and be treated to a dinner of their making. I chose the latter. Mother's Day is terribly busy at every restaurant and I love the idea of just being home with my boys. It will be a bit of a challenge for them this year as I'm in the midst of another diet that limits my eating parameters pretty strictly for the first seventeen days.

I also heard from Jonathan this morning as he texted to wish me the happiness of this day. I feel so lucky to have him and the other children Jacob brought to my life. I've been thinking of them all this morning, hoping they are showing their own mothers the special love they deserve on this day.

This afternoon I will spend some time with my mom. I bought a beautiful watermelon that I will cut and take with me. I will bring some small gifts for my sisters on behalf of my son to honor all the mothering they have done of him. Mothers come in many forms.

To all of you who are moms by biology or by heart, I wish you the wonders of this day.

Wipeout

"Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody." - Franklin Pierce Adams

It was quite a night in Canadian politics last night. The decimation of the Liberal party. The resounding Conservative majority. The coming of age of the NDP. The disappearance of the Bloc Quebecois. The first Green seat for Elizabeth May. It made for great television. Unfortunately, life isn't a television show. I suspect we as a nation will pay dearly for what I believe was a vote against Michael Ignatieff and Gilles Duceppe. Not that I'm disappointed to see the demise of either party leader, but as a dyed in the wool Liberal, I'm in a bit of pain. We have four years to rebuild. I have no doubt we will but I'm wondering where the leadership will come from. I don't think Bob Rae will take over, though I would like to see that happen. Justin Trudeau is too young and too inexperienced. Gerard Kennedy and Ken Dryden didn't even keep their own seats. There is time to figure it out.

Jacob and Jonathan watched the results with me until Jacob was ready to drop and finally gave up to go to bed as he needed to be up early for work this morning. He was disappointed that the candidate of his choice in this, his first election, was defeated. He has a lot of elections ahead of him. He will pick some winners and some losers and in the final tally, hope there are more of the former than the latter.

In an effort to find the silver lining, I reminded myself that this is Canada where even our parties on the right and the left are pretty close to center and that while Stephen Harper was not my choice, he isn't the worst Prime Minster we have ever had. I'm going to fervently pray that he uses his majority government to lead Canada in a way that serves all our citizens.

Sober Satisfaction

"Canada receives the news of Osama bin Laden's death with sober satisfaction. Bin Laden's death does not end the threat of international terrorism. Sadly, others will take his place."
- Prime Minister Stephen Harper

The news of the demise of Osama bin Laden took me, as much of the world, by complete surprise. My initial annoyance that Brothers and Sisters was interrupted just as a plot twist was being revealed was soon overridden by my amazement at the announcement. Clearly it is a relief to people everywhere that bin Laden is no longer around to rally his followers. I share the sense of sober satisfaction that Stephen Harper expressed on behalf of our nation. Just the same, I find the cheering and celebration on the part of many people to be disturbing. When the towers were attacked, we watched Palestinians dancing in the street in celebration of the deaths of Americans. I remember feeling horrified by the actions of those people. Today, I have felt some of those same emotions, albeit on a smaller scale. It doesn't seem right somehow to celebrate the death of another human being, even one as evil as Osama bin Laden.

It is election day in Canada. I was annoyed with a friend this morning who suggested he probably wouldn't vote because he really didn't care about the outcome of the election. People in other parts of the world are sacrificing their lives to gain the very right that so many Canadians casually toss away. Only sixty percent of eligible voters even bothered to vote in the last federal election - absolutely shameful. I am about to head out to vote now. Admittedly I'm not very enthralled with the available choices but I will choose. When Jacob gets home from work tonight I will take him to the polling station to vote for the first time. I remember the first time I voted after I turned eighteen and I have not missed a vote since. Like me, I believe Jacob will always take his right and responsibility to vote with the seriousness that it deserves.