Lunch

"Your son at five is your master, at ten your slave, at fifteen your double, and after that, your friend or your foe, depending on his bringing up." ~Author Unknown

It has been three long weeks since we brought Jacob to school. I've spoken to him little and exchanged only short text messages and the odd email. Merv is in San Francisco on a business trip. The house is quiet and a little empty. So I decided to call Jacob and ask him if he could spare a couple of hours for lunch. Cath and I headed out around eleven this morning. We were greeted by Jacob at the front door of his new house where he gave us each a huge hug and offered a tour. His room looks terrific and the whole house was remarkably tidy. Then it was off to lunch.

A new Montana's has opened up just down the street from Jacob's place. That is timely as earlier this week I sent him a gift card good for use at five restaurants, Montana's included. For a couple of hours we shared a good meal and good conversation. Jacob looks good - skinny but good - though I would prefer to see him with his hair cut.

After we dropped him off we headed to the local Winners store for a little exploration and then back home to try and get to Mom's to spend a little time. We called Nan to let her know we were running late only to learn that Mom's nursing home is in lock down due to a stomach bug so we cancelled today's visit. I've passed a pleasant evening stringing pearls and working on my Christmas gift projects.

The house is still quiet and a little empty. But even just a couple of hours with Jacob eased the ache. And judging from the text message he sent me this evening, he was feeling it as much as I was.

Dinner Party

"The oldest form of theater is the dinner table. It's got five or six people, new show every night, same players. Good ensemble; the people have worked together a lot."
- Michael J. Fox

Merv and I hosted a small dinner party for eight last night with some friends we haven't seen for a long time. I wrestled with what to serve that would be special but wouldn't consume my day in preparation. I turned to the recipes collection from the LCBO and settled on Beef Tenderloin with Figs and Shallots. Definitely a keeper. I started with a caprese salad with prociutto, added rice with pine nuts, mixed mushrooms and asparagus to the main course and served poached pears in port, cream puffs drizzled in chocolate sauce and chocolate petits fours for dessert. It was a tasty and easy meal.

The dinner conversation was lively and engaging. Our friend Marg regaled us with her larger than life tales of the adventures she and her husband Randy have shared. Newlyweds Kelly-Jo and Peter told us all about their honeymoon plans and Cath cleaned up behind me. All in all, a successful and fun night. By 10:30 the guests were gone, the dishes stacked and Merv was ready for bed. I didn't have the energy to tackle washing the dishes and crystal last night so I've left that for this morning. Those fairies I was hoping would come in the night to do it, unfortunately didn't materialize. The truth is, the cleanup isn't all that daunting. It shouldn't take more than an hour. And while I don't have a lot of leftovers, there is enough for my dinner so while I work, I'll think about enjoying them tonight.

It is a beautiful morning. The leaves in the ravine are quickly turning red, orange and gold. I have a date with some orange pearls. Life is good.

With the Fogies at Fogerty

"I want to know, Have you ever seen the rain?
I want to know, Have you ever seen the rain
Comin' down on a sunny day?"
- John Fogerty, "Have you ever seen the rain?"

John Fogerty gave an amazing two hour concert at Casino Rama last night. He looks the same. He sounds the same. His energy was unwavering. John Fogerty turned 65 in May. Last night, to a sold out crowd of 5,000 old fogies and geezers, Fogerty sang his heart out. A consumate musician, he entertained us by changing his guitar with almost each song. The array of his instruments moved from a guitar made from a baseball bat (used when he played Centerfield) to metallic red and brilliant turquoise versions. At the end of the show, Fogerty tripped on the stage and fell, breaking his guitar string in the process. He sprang up with the agility of a twenty year old, made a brief joke and carried on, barely missing a beat.

My day yesterday included a trip to the Rogers store in Bayview Village to pick up a new Blackberry to replace the one Rogers technical services finally declared defective. Because I was unable to provide the cardboard carton my Blackberry had been sold in, the store manager refused to take the defective model back. A distinctly unpleasant exchange ensued. I left without a new Blackberry. I think when I told the store manager I would be contacting Nadir Mohamed (president of Rogers) directly, he thought I was making an idle threat. Big mistake. Mr. Mohamed's office contacted me while I was on route to Rama to advise I could pick up my new Blackberry from the Bayview Village store whenever I wished to do so. I doubt it was a good day in the life of the Bayview Village store manager.

Other than that trip to Bayview Village, I'm going to try to do today what I've been trying to do all week but for one reason or another have been unable to do - stay off my feet and rest. My body is exhausted. My feet are aching and my blisters are breaking all over the place. I don't remember hurting this much after the other 60k walks I've made. But perhaps, at 55, my memory is failing me as badly as my feet.

Blistered

"Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Unknown

My journey at the 2010 Weekend to End Women's Cancers ended just before four o'clock when, along with my dear friends Nancy and Aivars, I crossed the finish line at the CNE. As in years past, the Weekend was a powerful affirmation of my victory over breast cancer. I am grateful I'm here to make this journey one last time.

The walk this year, is indeed, my final journey. From this point forward I will crew at the WTEWC, donate to the WTEWC, raise funds for the WTEWC. But there will be no more walking. So blistered and swollen are my poor feet, that I did the last 23 kilometres wearing flip flops. And while they are comfortable flip flops, they are less than ideal for making such an arduous journey.

No matter my sore feet. This year's event raised $10.8 for the Campbell Family Institute at The Princess Margaret Hospital. In this economy, that is quite an achievement. So no regrets, blisters and sore muscles will heal. Just gratitude for the 4,600 people who walked the 60k, for my friends Nancy and Aivars who stayed by my side, for my husband who tended to me all weekend with such great and gentle care and to The Princess Margaret Hospital that saved my life. I am truly blessed.

Preparing for My Journey

"To walk fast, walk alone. To walk far, walk together" - Anon

I'm still sick with a wicked cold but I'm on the mend. The congestion which had moved into my chest yesterday has abated and moved back into my head. While it makes me feel a little miserable, I can cope with that. Chest congestion is another story. So I am confident and relieved that I will be able to start my long walk tomorrow at the Weekend to End Women's Cancers. My friend Geraldine reminded me last night that I have walked in far more difficult circumstances than dealing with a head cold. And of course she is right.

This afternoon I will go to Shoppers Drug Mart and lay in supplies for the weekend - mole skin, blister bandages and a bottle of Aleve. The day is supposed to be dry tomorrow so I'm not expecting the same blister problem I dealt with the last time I made the 60k journey. Sunday's weather forecast is a little bit iffier but I will manage no matter what.

Turns out my great niece Emily isn't feeling well and won't be walking this year after all. As I'm fairly sure this is my last year for walking, I won't be able to make her first walk with her. But whenever she decides to do it, I will support her by crewing and I will be waiting at the finish line to welcome her in. At this juncture, Emily's mom, Kelly is also uncertain if she will walk this weekend. So it may turn out to be just me, Nancy and Aivars. No matter. We will have a good time taking the journey together. I can hardly wait to see Aivars in his pink sequined shirt.

My experience with the weekend has taught me that it will be a journey filled with unexpected gifts. I will report back on Monday.

Hope this weekend takes you on a gift-filled journey of your own. If you are the praying kind, I'd sure appreciate it if you would put in a word for me to help me along my way.

L' Shana Tovah

"Rosh Hashanah reminds us of the evil of war, the unity of all peoples in their love for their children, their desire for life and the necessity of peace in the world." - Rabbi Dr. Shlomo Riskin

Rosh Hashanah begins at sundown tonight. Merv and I have the honour of attending dinner with Judy, Mark, Robbie and Matthew this evening. This is the second year Judy has invited us to share their new year's meal. Last year only Jacob and I were able to attend. This year Jacob is in Guelph for the start of his school year tomorrow and Merv will join us.

I've been reading and studying a little bit about Rosh Hashana these past few days. For Jews this is a time of reflection, a time of making amends to those they have wronged, a time for asking help to improve those parts of themselves that will help them to live more fully and in greater harmony with the world. Seems like we could all do some of that.

So at Rosh Hashanah, I find myself reflecting on those parts of my own life and asking God to help me live my life in this coming year with courage, balance and authenticity. L'Shana Tovah to one and all.

Head Cold

"A cold in the head causes less suffering than an idea."
- Jules Renard

Not that there is ever a good time but this week is an especially bad time for me to be coping with the head cold I knew was coming on last night. I had a scratchy throat all day. I drank a lot of liquids, took some Advil and headed to bed early in the hopes of staving it off. No such luck. I woke up this morning with a full blown cold - sneezing, scratchy throat and chest congestion included.

Tomorrow is Rosh Hashanah and Merv and I will be joining Judy and her family to celebrate the holiday. Perhaps her brisket will be the healing balm I need. With just four days until my 60k walk for the Weekend to End Women's Cancers, I'm willing to try just about anything. Today has been a day of chicken soup, lemon ponces and ginger tea. I'll try for another early night tonight. A little extra sleep won't hurt.

If worse comes to worse, I'll head over to Cath's tomorrow and ask Stan to make me one of his healing toddies. I'm not really sure what he puts into it but after taking one, I'm always ready to crash for a long sleep and a good sweat. Whatever it takes to get me through those 60k.

Gone to Dog Heaven

"Her heart was pure and filled with joy." - Anon

Dora died peacefully this morning in the presence of her humans, Brian and Geraldine, safely tucked in Geraldine's arms. I will miss her.

Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye

“Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.” - Snoopy

It has been a week of goodbyes. Yesterday I said goodbye to Sara and Jonathan. Today we brought Jacob to Guelph. I hate this part.

Last Sunday I went to Cath's lake house to spend a few days with Cath and our friend Geraldine. We thought it would help Geraldine to deal with the passing of Dora but Dora hadn't passed so she came along too. We enjoyed a couple of warm days, drinking champagne and sangria and eating a lot of food we wouldn't normally consume. Dora was clearly not herself but just the same, she made a half-hearted effort to chase the chipmunks whenever they were in range. On the way back to Toronto on Tuesday afternoon, Dora gave us all a scare. We thought she was going to die in my car. Geraldine gave her a dose of morphine and we hoped she would hang on long enough to get her to the vet or at least home. Apparently, once home she again rallied. Last I saw her (on Thursday) she was still on this side of heaven though Geraldine suggested today would be her last day. I have yet to hear from Ger so I suspect her passage has been put off yet again. As much as I love her, I hope that is not the case. She is clearly suffering and it pains me to see her that way. I'd prefer to say goodbye and think of her chasing chipmunks in heaven.

Knowing that Jacob would be returning to Guelph today, I tried to get him to attend to my technology support needs before he left. I've been asking him for more than a month to back up all my laptop files to an external hard drive so I can take my computer to Best Buy for repair without worrying that I'm going to lose everything. I asked so many times that he started snapping at me. But here I am, he is in Guelph and my computer remains without backup. I think I will be asking my friend Maurice for help. The one thing that I did manage to do, however, is to get a new blackberry. Jacob transferred all my data from my old system to my new system and then I spent the next two days on the phone with the Rogers help desk trying to figure out why it didn't work. All in all, I lost about ten hours of my week on the phone waiting on hold and then begging help desk employees who were sitting in God knows what country, to help me. The first three attempts were unsuccessful including the second attempt when a Rogers employee actually told me I'd be better off using some other service and then told me he couldn't figure out why I couldn't receive email messages on my blackberry so I should just suck it up and deal with it. It's been more than frustrating, more than aggravating and more than time consuming. But it is, fingers crossed, now done. I have a pretty white blackberry. Jacob synchronized it to the bluetooth in my car before he left this afternoon - a task I attempted multiple times yesterday without success.

So now here Merv and I are, back in our empty nest. It will be quiet. It will be lonely. We will miss Jacob and all his friends, like crazy. But on the upside, the house will stay a lot cleaner, my grocery bills will be a lot smaller and I will have a lot less housework to do. I'm sad but looking for the silver lining.