And So It Begins

"No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace as I have seen in one autumnal face."

John Donne

The view outside our bedroom window is growing more colourful each morning.  A few red leaves in the large maple tree greeted me a couple of weeks ago.  In the last few days, a few more of the leaves turned red.  Overnight last night, the tree next to it went from green to gold.  Not a few leaves, but the whole tree.  That took me a bit by surprise this morning.  I'm wondering what kind of a show we will see this year.  I suspect we will not see the pink ravine we saw last year.  I'm not seeing hits of pink or brilliant reds.  The reds seem a bit rusty and many of the trees in the ravine are moving towards gold and orange hues.  We are coming up to our twelveth autumn in this house.  Each year, the ravine has provided us with a different show.  Nature is incredible, reinventing herself year after glorious year.  Now to tap into that inspiration.

Laying Low

"I'm tired of laying low.  Let's give the world a show." - Travis Mcvoy

It's been almost a month since I've written in this blog.  A month of introspection.  A month of trying to figure out my life.  I'm not much further along than I was when I wrote in August at the outset of this search.

A routine physical at the beginning of September resulted in a myriad of scheduled tests - most just because I am a woman of a certain age, one because the results of routine screening weren't ideal.  Several sleepless nights ensued but the worry turned out to be unnecessary.  Next week I will see a new eye specialist in an effort to determine if anything can be done to fix my left eye.  The veil has not lifted nor has the flashing subsided.  And I'm not getting used to it in spite of the terse direction to do so by the first specialist I saw.  A series of heart tests which were scheduled for last Monday, will be rescheduled for sometime in the coming weeks as the lab suffered an equipment breakdown just prior to my tests.  An MRI of my still inflamed shoulder will follow in a few weeks.  When I begin to think that this aging thing really sucks, I remind myself of the only alternative to aging and it suddenly doesn't seem so bad.

For the most part, I've been laying low, hoping to get inspired as to my next great move.  I'm not enjoying my work much these days. Not feeling very creative.  Not feeling very social.  But I'm trying and maybe that counts for something.  For now, it's all I've got so it will have to do.