Ring Ring

 

My name is not Diane 

I never owned a dog named Ginger 

I don’t need my ducts cleaned 

I don’t have a credit card with your bank 

There are no suspicious charges on my credit card from Amazon 

You are not going to suspend my Social Insurance Number 

You are not coming to arrest me if I don’t pay the tax money I don’t owe 

I am not interested in increasing my monthly giving to your agency 

I don’t speak Arabic 

I don’t want to change internet/phone/cable providers 

I’m not selling my house 

I don’t need my roof done 

I don't need new windows 

I don’t need my driveway repaved 

My computer is not infected by a dangerous virus

My soul does not need saving but I think perhaps yours does. 

If Today is Our Last Day

 

If Today is Our Last Day 

 

If today is our last day 

Let it be remembered for the brilliance of the sun as it glistened on the morning dew, like diamonds on the grass. 

 

If today is our last day 

Let it be remembered for the sweetness of the birdsong and the fragrance of the lilacs. 

 

If today is our last day 

Let it be remembered for the warm breeze as it caressed a thousand shades of green leaves. 

 

If today is our last day 

Let it be remembered for the taste of rich coffee and fresh bread and berries eaten straight from the garden. 

 

If today is our last day 

Let it be remembered for the magnificence of the sunset splashing a spectrum of colours across the fading sky. 

 

If today is our last day 

Let it be remembered for the glow of the silver moon pulling us into its tides. 

 

If today is our last day 

Let it be remembered for the certainty and steadfastness of our love, always and forever. 

in the broken

standing in the broken

fragments of shattered minds around my bare feet

wondering how to move forward without cutting myself to the bone

wondering how long i can stand here before my legs give out and i fall into the shards

 

after a while i begin the calculations

if I step one inch forward, perhaps i can reach some gloves

one tiny nick in my toe but not enough to stop me

i use the gloves to pick up the shards in front of me

a few at a time

the smallest are too hard to get but sharp enough to hurt my feet

finally through the fragments, i wash my feet and pluck out the tiny shards

they sting but there is nothing to do but dab on a bit of salve and bandage the worst of the cuts

i will rest tonight knowing that tomorrow i will find myself in another shard strewn path

the shards of shattered minds are not my own

at least for now

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Certain

Certain

It’s silly really, a woman of a certain age dividing my life into before and after I lost her.
She was very old, living in a world I couldn’t reach, beyond signs of recognition or communication
But she loved me.  

I am certain of that.

How old do I have to grow before I don’t feel the longing for her presence anymore?
How long until I stop feeling the loss of being able to talk over my troubles with her?  
It has been decades since she could advise me, but still she loved me. 

 I am certain of that.

Perhaps that is the hardest loss, knowing that no one will ever love me that way again
A mother’s love is unlike any other; I learned that when I had my own child.   He is a man now and doesn’t need me in the ways he once did.  But still, he knows I love him.

 I am certain of that.

Soft Carpet

Soft Carpet 

 

I wake in the pre-dawn hours, my to-do list already scrolling in my head. 

 

Groceries to buy, meds to sort, bills to pay. Navigating routes to ferry one to a medical appointment while efficiently running errands for the other. An endless list, devoid of my own needs or pleasures. 

 

I just want to stay in bed. I want a day when no one needs anything from me. When taking time for myself isn’t guilt inducing. I want to paint and create, write poetry and string beads. I want a long soak in a hot bath. I need a pedicure. There is no time for such luxuries. 

 

I’m feeling sorry for myself. Time to put my feet on the floor. As I stand, I am reminded of how soft the carpet feels under my bare feet. And in that moment, I know that I am already surrounded by pleasures and luxuries. 

  

I just need to pay attention.