"Hindsight is 20/20" - Old Adage
In a few short hours, the calendar will turn a page on the decade. 2020 looms on the horizon. Rather than make resolutions, I like to choose a theme for the coming year. It provides me with a framework for my decisions and learning. This year, 2019, was my year of saying "yes". Unless I had a really good reason to say "no","yes" became my default response. Of course, as Dr. Phil would say, no matter how flat you make a pancake, it always has two sides. There have been times when the "yes" experience might have been better as a "no" experience but on balance, my year of saying "yes" was a resounding success. Many of the highlights of my year came from saying yes to invitations to join friends on their adventures. My favourite time of 2019 came early in the year when we accompanied our dear friends Tom and Denis on a Cuban holiday. On one hot, sunny morning, Denis and I set up our easels and painted. It was a magical morning spent with a man that I love as if he was my own brother. Those hours alone, defined the wonder of our Cuban vacation. Our time together was a gift that I gave to myself.
My 2020 theme is a bit of a departure from saying "yes" though I still intend to keep it as my default response. I am deeming 2020 to be my year of remembering. Not remembering events or experiences but rather, remembering me. The last couple of years, I have been challenging many of my long held beliefs about who I am and what my limitations are. And while some of those beliefs are true, I have found that many are not. It turns out that I am the domestic type. I do have some artistic ability. I'm not chickenhearted. And now that I know what I'm not, I want to remember what I am - who I was before the world told me who I was and what I could and could not do. 2020 seems like exactly the right time to do that. Hindsight with 20/20 vision in 2020.
Lest anyone should believe I am feeling lost - I am not. I am strong, smart and courageous. But there is much change in my life right now and many demands on my time and energy. My husband is newly retired, my sisters are unwell and I have many health challenges of my own. And yet, as I enter the year when I will begin to collect my Old Age Pension, I feel that I am finally coming into my own.
