Halloween-Lite

"There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls."
~George Carlin

It is Halloween and darkness is descending. I've finished my supper of chili and French bread and am now waiting for the first trick-or-treater to arrive. Ordinarily, I make a big deal out of Halloween. In another year I would have been dressed in my long black dress with my face painted a goulish white with some spots of green and black decay, but not this year. With Geraldine's sister so gravely ill, it didn't feel right to me to make light of death. So this year, I'm doing Halloween-Lite.

My pumpkins are on the porch and the candles are lit but unlike in past years, there are no ghosts hanging in the trees and no spiderwebs blanketing the bushes. I've filled twenty-five treat bags but I have candy for another forty or fifty kids if I need it. It's hard to guess how many to expect. The first year we lived in this house, we had fifty kids come to the door. Last year we had only eight. Either way, there is enough. The children who do come are from other neighbourhoods. Their parents drop them off by the van load to trick-or-treat at the end of our quiet cul-de-sac. Our neighbourhood is aging and the mix of the immigrant population is changing. Many of our neighbours don't celebrate Halloween so their houses are dark. Not all the kids dropped off at the end of the street will bother to pass the dark houses to get to ours. It doesn't matter. Tomorrow I will bundle whatever candy is left and send it with Geraldine as treats for the kids at the elementary school where she works. I've made sure everything is nut fee so it can safely go to the school.

I'm hoping Geraldine and Dora will drop by so I can see Dora in her Halloween costume. I have a special treat bag already packed for her. I made sure to restock my supply of her favourite dog biscuits. I also bought a treat for Geraldine so she has a special bag of her own. Geraldine loves candy corn and I'm trying hard to find little ways to cheer her up. These are dark days for Ger and her family. I'm hoping even small kindnesses will help.

Rainy Days and Mondays

Talkin' to myself and feelin' old
Sometimes I'd like to quit
Nothing ever seems to fit
Hangin' around
Nothing to do but frown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.

-Rainy Days And Mondays lyrics as performed by the Carpenters

Okay, the rain is starting to get really old. It's gloomy, grey and freezing cold - the kind of weather that invades my soul and make me want to stay in bed all day. But staying in bed isn't a luxury I have time to enjoy this week. I've been burning the candle at both ends including a workday yesterday that didn't end much before ten o'clock and surrogate mothering responsibilities that didn't end until one o'clock this morning.

On Monday night around 11:00, I learned that one of Jacob's housemates, Abby, was coming to Toronto on Tuesday to see a concert at the ACC and she would be sleeping at our place after the concert along with her sister and a friend. I was, of course, happy to have her here but it would have been good to have known a bit earlier. I got up early yesterday morning to change the linens in Jacob's room and to make sure the house was in order. I drew a map to the subway, provided my contact information and headed downtown for an early afternoon meeting. I concluded my work around 5:30 and proceeded to Willow for a Board meeting arriving home around 10:00. At about 12:15, I picked the girls up from the subway and brought them home, finally tumbling into bed around 1:00. Abby had a midterm at 9:00 this morning, so I got up at 4:45 to get the girls some breakfast and get them on their way.

Today will be another long day. I'm hoping to get home from my Clinic Board meeting by 9:00. I do hope the rain will stop. I can hardly bear the thought of another wet drive home.

Licenced

"Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly."
~Author Unknown

I made a trip to Guelph this afternoon to take Jacob for his road test to get his driver's licence. He passed with flying colours. I'm really thrilled for him. This bit of independence was long overdue. After he got his licence, Merv met us in Guelph for dinner. It was a lovely meal, lively and fun and we were pleased to celebrate this milestone as a family.

The idea of Jacob driving independently raises mixed emotions in me. I love the idea that he can run errands for me and drive himself home on those nights he is in Toronto and stays out late. But I worry too. The traffic seems to be getting worse and worse with time. Drivers seem more aggressive and more careless. The good news is that Jacob has a good head on his shoulders and I know he won't take unnecessary risks, or drive drunk or get caught up in road rage. And I pray that every time he gets behind the wheel, his guardian angel will be sitting in the passenger seat.

My Friend Gail

“That some achieve great success, is proof to all that others can achieve it as well.” - Abraham Lincoln

Today my best friend Gail will walk across the stage at Royal Roads University and receive her MBA. Though Gail would tell you she is my much younger friend, she is in fact just six weeks younger than I am. For Gail to take on an MBA program more than thirty years after she did her undergrad degree is, in my mind, nothing short of amazing.

I remember the night Gail called me from Victoria during her first three-week stint on campus. She was distraught. She was a lot older than most of her classmates. She was struggling with the work load and fearful that the program was beyond her. We talked. She calmed down. And she embraced the challenge with a vengeance. And now here she is - graduating at the top of her class. Recipient of the Founders Award. Making a speech to her graduating class.

My friend Gail. Brilliant. Beautiful. Inspirational. Accomplished. I am beyond proud.

Chess

"Life's too short for chess."
- Henry J. Byron

Our subscription series took us to The Princess Of Wales last night to see Chess. Billed as a musical, Chess is really an opera made no more palatable because it is in a language I understand. Certainly the staging of it was cleverly done. The chess pieces are the musicians/singers/actors that comprise the majority of the cast. I was impressed that they played their instruments from a prone position when at one point they had been swept from the chessboard. The performances were strong. I could certainly appreciate the power of the voices. But in spite of those things, I found the show tedious. And long. So very long.

Contrary to my assessment, Merv loved it. He apparently has been listening to the CD of the show for years and could sing most of opera word for word. If I didn't think it would have ticked him off, I would have joined much of the rest of the audience and left at the intermission but I'm reasonably sure it would have annoyed him to no end if I had. It did improve somewhat in the second act. The music changed up a bit and there was more colour in the costuming and lighting to break up the relentless black and white. And it was shorter than the first act. Still, all in all, I would rather have been home, tucked into my bed.

Ouch

“Sometimes people do get hurt” - Mark Twain

It has been a long week filled with lots of work, most of it unpaid and clients who are making unreasonable demands of their ex-employers, not because they really want what they are asking for but because their feelings are hurt. Then there are things going on with my boards which are provoking high emotions and hurt feelings among a whole host of people. I've been soaking in their angst all week. I'm just plain worn out.

Throughout it all, I've hung on all week knowing that today I would have a little break from the madness, though for just a few minutes. Jacob is in town. He is representing the University of Guelph Engineering Department at the annual university fair at the Metro Convention Centre. He came in on the morning shuttle and is returning on the evening shuttle and somewhere in between I was going to go downtown and see him for a couple of minutes. We had agreed last weekend. When I sent him a note yesterday to set up our meeting, he more or less told me that he didn't want me to come. I said "no problem" and swallowed hard. He hurt my feelings.

So instead, I worked this morning and then called Nan. We met downtown to do a little bead shopping on Queen Street before grabbing a bite of lunch. Bead therapy for my hurt feelings. Geraldine called when I got home and asked how my visit with Jacob was. When I told her that I didn't see him after all, and had gone downtown for some bead therapy instead, she suggested a little dog therapy may be more effective. So for the next couple of hours, I have Dora. She was happy to see me. Ger is right. I do feel better.

Grateful

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is Thanksgiving morning. I am sitting in the den looking out on the ravine. The leaves are changing from green to yellow and crimson. They are glowing in the sun. Jacob is sitting near me, finishing some school work. Merv has gone outside to do a bit of gardening. It is as warm as a summer day. Simply wonderful.

This afternoon we will go to Cath's for our Thanksgiving meal. I've been looking forward to it all week. No one makes a turkey dinner like Cath. Nan will have baked her superlative pumpkin and apple pies. While the meal is guaranteed to be delicious, it is time with our family that will really feed my soul.

It would be impossible on this day to enumerate the many blessing in the abundance of my life. And so I begin this day, as I do every day with the same words to the universe - "Thank you for this day".