“No one has ever become poor by giving.” – Anne Frank
I'd like to think I'm a generous person. I donate a tidy sum of money every year to some selected charities. I try to behave kindly towards strangers and try to help and support my friends and family. Why then, do I feel so resentful lately when doling out two and three dollar donations at the cash registers of stores where I'm being asked to make charitable donations? Could it be because it seems I'm asked multiple times every day?
If it's not Chapters, Winners, Marshalls or HomeSense, it's Loblaws or Costco or the LCBO. I just got home from grocery shopping at Longos. I wasn't asked at the cash register for a donation but I was asked at the entrance and again in the meat department. Seriously, I can't even navigate the store without someone asking me for money? I go grocery shopping almost every day. At the end of the week, those little donations add up to ten or fifteen dollars. At the end of the year, those donations add up in the hundreds of dollars. There are no tax receipts. What there is though is an ad campaign from a profitable business bragging about what good corporate citizens they are for having raised so much money for charity. The only issue I have with that is that it's our money, not theirs.
I know I have the right to say no when I'm asked and normally, that should be the end of it. But I rarely say no. It's not part of who I am. I was truly shocked last week to find myself in a Winners store having just come shopping at Marshalls and HomeSense (all owned by the same company) to hear a cashier berating a customer for saying no. "We're only asking for a couple of dollars", she said. "Really, you won't give a couple of dollars for such a good cause?" If I had been the customer, I would have hit the roof. Of course, being the sucker I am, I didn't have to listen to a tirade. For the third time in less than an hour, I forked over a couple of bucks to support their charity.
I enjoy your posts, a lot. I should have posted before and said that, unless I did and forgot. I do forget now, in this phase of my life.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, what I want to tell you is that one of the best lessons I ever taught myself was how to say "No" and mean it.
I can't afford to be donating to every cause that crosses my path. I believe in donating. But I need to donate only when I think we can handle it.
I do give to certain things or people who ask. And I donate items to thrift stores, plus I buy at thrift stores too. It helps doing both.
But really, if this isn't settling well with you, sit down and think about who and what you are truly glad to donate to, then stick with that for the most part.
We need to help our fellow human beings, but not to the point of feeling harassed or overwhelmed.
We were on a cross country trip in our car a few years ago. We stopped and had dinner in a well known restaurant. As we sat there we were approached at least twice, maybe three times, I forgot. Those people who approached us were either asking for money or wanted to sell us something. That is while we were sitting at our table eating our dinner! we both said No.
I know that feeling of "saying No is not part of who I am." So I made it part. And believe me, once you are used to it, it's not so harsh feeling. I don't say No to everyone, my word. I also have volunteered a lot in my life, and what I couldn't give in treasure, I gave in time.
There are three things to donate that really count, Time, Talent, Treasure. And we need to decide who gets what and even who doesn't.
All that said, the above is just knocking around an idea. I'd never say what you "should" do. Just wanted to tell you my experience. No pressure.
Thanks Janet. I said no to cash register donations twice yesterday and it wasn't so hard - just a simple step outside my comfort zone.
ReplyDeleteSo happy to hear that you are enjoying my blog. Great to know someone is reading it.