Avoiding Flying Pigs

"What happens when someone gets the Swine Flu and Avian Flu? They see pigs flying." - Anon

I finally sucked it up today and stood in line at a Toronto Public Health Clinic to get my H1N1 vaccine. I heard that the long lines had disappeared and that a particular clinic in the north end of the city was taking qualifying patients as they walked in the door. Shots are still being limited to those who are considered high-risk. Heart disease and cancer history put me on that list.

I avoided going for the shot last week as the lines were hours long. It somehow didn't seem prudent to me to stand in close proximity with a thousand other people during flu season. I also didn't think my nerves would withstand a day spent with screaming children. The clinics will soon be open to everyone so I seized the chance to get my shot today before the next onslaught of people.

As luck would have it, today is the day Toronto Public Health decided to implement a new computer system. There were about 50 people in line ahead of me. I understand that if I had gone yesterday, I would have been seen in less than 15 minutes - but not today. Not only is there a new system, but also a new complement of trainees.

I stood in line for about 40 minutes before I went through the first level of check in. There were several screaming babies and a number of out-of-control children running amok unchecked by their seemingly oblivious parents. It felt like a long 40 minutes. After round one, I proceeded to another waiting area for another 10 minutes. Then I sat down with a nurse who asked me some questions and gave me the injection. It was painless. To cap off the experience I was required to sit in another waiting area for 15 minutes before being allowed to leave.

There were many children waiting to be allowed to exit. They like to keep the kids for a bit longer - about 30 minutes. Three siblings sat in the row in front of me. One of them, the oldest, was claiming he was experiencing numbness in his arm from his shoulder to his wrist and then claiming dizziness. The middle boy was terrorizing his younger sister by punching her on the arm where she had received the inoculation. He frequently jumped up from his chair to dance a few rounds of the macarena. When he wasn't dancing, yelling or taunting his sister, he was punching his older brother. Their mother paid no attention to him. The oldest boy was frequently administered to by a very patient nurse who was working hard to diplomatically tell the children's mother that there was nothing physically wrong with him. He was not having an adverse reaction to the shot and his purported numbness and dizziness were either anxiety based or an attempt at garnering some attention. It did net him and his siblings each a bottle of juice and a package of cookies which I eyed enviously.

I could hardly wait for the 15 minutes to be up so I could escape the chaos. I was impressed by the patience and calm demeanor of the staff. They are all doing a great job in an environment that would unravel me by the end of the first shift. By the time I left, my arm was already aching but I'm not complaining. Better a sore arm now than a week or two with swine flu later.