Tears

“There is a sacredness in tears.  They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.  They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.  They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.” – Washington Irving

I have shed a million tears this week.  Tears of profound sadness.  Tears of profound joy.  I have lived the highest highs and the lowest lows in just seven days. 

Howard's death last Sunday hit me with a depth of sadness that I have not experienced in many years.  I have slept fitfully, waking up through the night and asking myself if his passing was real or just a bad dream.  I have cried in the night when trying to get to sleep and in the early morning hours when rising. And yet, at the same time I am grieving, I am celebrating.  The trip to Guelph on Tuesday to watch Jacob pick up his award was a balm for my soul.  Thursday's trip to Guelph to watch him graduate was overwhelming.  On both occasions I wept tears of joy.  My baby has grown into a remarkable, accomplished and confident man.  

And in between the sadness and joy, I have spent the week shopping, cooking and hosting those who came to share in our sorrow and in our joy.  Now I am tired.  It is time to rest.