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"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." - Lewis B. Smedes

 

I un-Christmased the house on the weekend.  It is a job I never enjoy.  As I took each ornament off the tree and wrapped it in tissue to be boxed and stored away, I reflected on the fragility of life.  I wondered if when my dad wrapped some of those very same ornaments after the Christmas of 1991, he did it with tremendous sadness in the knowledge that he would likely not live to see another Christmas.  I wondered if I will have a sense of that when my last Christmas has passed.  

While removing the boughs and feathers from the banister, I remembered all the resolutions I made while doing the very same job the year before.  I failed at most of them.  I decided there is no point in promising myself that this would be the year that I lost weight...got organized...learned to let go...and so on, and so on and so on.  I failed at them all last year and the year before that and the year before that.  I don't want to set myself up to fail again.  I don't like failure.  After so much practise, I should be better at it than I am.

Just before the new year, I read an article written by a self-help guru.  They seem to be everywhere these days.  His suggestion for starting the new year right was to end the last by forgiving someone who has failed you.  After thinking about it for a time, I decided to do just that.  I forgave myself.  At sixty years old, I'm still a work in progress.  I will try again.