Solitude

“Life is a train of moods like a string of beads; and as we pass through them they prove to be many colored lenses, which paint the world their own hue, and each shows us only what lies in its own focus.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Merv left for San Diego in the early morning hours yesterday. By the time Jacob and I hit the highway for Jacob's return trip to school, Merv was emailing to report that he was sitting in his shirtsleeves having a drink by the bay.

The drive to Guelph started a little later than I had planned. Jacob was reluctant to head back having enjoyed the comforts of home these past three weeks. He pushed our departure time back several times until I finally implored him to allow me to do at least one leg of the drive in the daylight. By the time we got to the university, got his dorm room key, made a couple of trips to unload the car and said our goodbyes, it was going on 5:00 P.M. Jacob was quite happy, having been greeted by one of the other guys in his dorm pod and about six pretty girls. I was experiencing mixed feelings - sadness at knowing how much I will miss him and that he won't be home again for the next five weeks accompanied by the sense of freedom that comes from knowing I will be living in an empty house for the next few days.

I stopped at the grocery store when I got back to Toronto and bought a mixed sushi dinner and a few treats. I was barely in the door when I retrieved the box of beads I ordered on-line from a Vancouver bead maker that was shipped to me a couple of weeks ago. I grabbed my laptop and my dinner, slipped into some comfy pajamas and took everything to bed with me. The beads are absolutely gorgeous - the product of a true artist. I spread them out all over the bed, turned on the TV and played the entire third season of "Big Love" while I made bracelets and bookmarks and played with combinations of lampwork beads and quartz, amethyst and pearls.

Around midnight I turned off the television, pulled shut the bedroom curtains, tucked away my beads and drifted off to sleep. I slept like a stone. Today was filled with my usual Sunday activities - a leisurely read of the newspaper and completion of the crossword puzzle and three sudoku puzzles, housework and a visit to my mom's. But when I got back tonight, I again enjoyed the luxury of dinner in bed while watching my favorite shows and a couple more hours of playing with my beads.

I miss the boys, but there is a lot to be said for the luxury of time alone.