Playing Hurt

"An injured lion still wants to roar." - Randy Pausch

 

I have little in common with most professional athletes.  I'm uncoordinated, plump and doughy.  I've never been an even adequate player in any sport.  So it is interesting at this late juncture in my life to find that I now have something in common with them.  I'm having to learn to play hurt.  

Playing hurt is a part of every professional athlete's life.  Now it is a part of mine.  Seven weeks into my back issues, I'm still often inconsolable with pain.  My hip is so inflamed that I cry out in the night when it goes into spasm.  I feel like hot knives are being thrust into my leg and foot.  But life does not stand still because I'm on the sidelines.  Bad enough that I missed real participation in my 25th wedding anniversary and Jacob's birthday.  And I didn't get to England for a long awaited family wedding.  But I did do some things.  I spent two days leading my crew team at The Weekend to End Women's Cancers.  I did it through a haze of pain, and from a chair, but I did it.  Last Saturday night, I attended a surprise party hosted by Brian's and Geraldine's kids to celebrate their fortieth wedding anniversary.  It was a lovely party.  A couple of hours in, I felt desperate to go home but I managed to hang on until the bitter end.  The moment I laid down when I got home, I burst into tears.  Hiding pain is exhausting.

I've got a number of events ahead in the next few weeks - an afternoon at the theatre with Courtney, her mom and sister, a welcoming party for a friend's new grandson and the wedding of the young man that I mentor professionally.  I'm praying that I will be doing much better by then.  If not, I'll just have to suck it up and put my game face on.