Tomorrow is my 70th birthday. As I always do in the week before my birthday, I have spent the last few days reflecting on the past year and thinking about what I will strive for in the next. As this is a milestone birthday, I’ve broadened my reflective lens this year. Seventy is a birthday I didn’t always expect to reach but here I am, grateful, thrilled and amazed that even after seventy years of life, I am still a work in progress.
I’ve been thinking about the lessons I’ve learned in seven decades of treading an often uneven and at times, difficult path. There have been many lessons learned the hard way. Perhaps I am a slow learner, but here are some of the most important I have learned.
1. Kindness is always the right choice. It costs nothing to lead with kindness but a great deal not to. Responding to the unkind actions of others by being unkind in return does not make anything better. It just makes you feel bad about being unkind. It’s best to lead with kindness because of who you are rather than who they are.
2. There is a middle ground between being selfish and being selfless. They are not the only two options you have. Finding the middle ground is key to having a happy life.
3. Every problem comes with a gift in its hand. Hard times are more easily navigated if you can look for the gifts which inevitably come with them. Some days, it’s harder to find them than on others but I guarantee they are there if you look hard enough.
4. Except for love, nothing is permanent. Pain is transitory. Fear is transitory. Youth is transitory. Ownership is transitory. At the end, all that is left is love and the more of it you give away, the more of it you have.
5. A mother’s love is unlike any other. We generally don’t know how much our mothers loved us until we become mothers ourselves.
6. Creating art is an essential piece of living a full life. It doesn’t matter what form that creating takes or how good at it you are. Write or paint, cook or bake, build or garden, sew or knit, dance or act. Just let yourself do whatever it is that is in you. Create for the joy not for the evaluation of the end result. Pay no attention to critics. No statue was ever erected to a critic.
7. Always be learning. The world is rapidly evolving, and it takes an active effort to keep up. Read. Take classes. Travel. There are so many wonders to see and learn about but if you stay still, you will miss them all.
8. Old age is a gift to be treasured and enjoyed. Though it comes with its own set of challenges, it beats the alternative. Too many people don’t get the gift of old age. Every day is a gift.
9. It’s okay to rest. There is no shame in taking idle hours. You won’t get a medal for filling every minute of every day with non-stop activity. Allow yourself the joy of daydreaming and thinking time. Read a good story or watch a sappy movie if that’s what you want to do. The vacuuming can wait a few hours.
10 The world is a beautiful place. No matter what else is going on, the sun comes up in the morning and the moon shines at night. Nature is a balm for our souls that is accessible to everyone. Pay attention.
