If Today is Our Last Day

 

If Today is Our Last Day 

 

If today is our last day 

Let it be remembered for the brilliance of the sun as it glistened on the morning dew, like diamonds on the grass. 

 

If today is our last day 

Let it be remembered for the sweetness of the birdsong and the fragrance of the lilacs. 

 

If today is our last day 

Let it be remembered for the warm breeze as it caressed a thousand shades of green leaves. 

 

If today is our last day 

Let it be remembered for the taste of rich coffee and fresh bread and berries eaten straight from the garden. 

 

If today is our last day 

Let it be remembered for the magnificence of the sunset splashing a spectrum of colours across the fading sky. 

 

If today is our last day 

Let it be remembered for the glow of the silver moon pulling us into its tides. 

 

If today is our last day 

Let it be remembered for the certainty and steadfastness of our love, always and forever. 

in the broken

standing in the broken

fragments of shattered minds around my bare feet

wondering how to move forward without cutting myself to the bone

wondering how long i can stand here before my legs give out and i fall into the shards

 

after a while i begin the calculations

if I step one inch forward, perhaps i can reach some gloves

one tiny nick in my toe but not enough to stop me

i use the gloves to pick up the shards in front of me

a few at a time

the smallest are too hard to get but sharp enough to hurt my feet

finally through the fragments, i wash my feet and pluck out the tiny shards

they sting but there is nothing to do but dab on a bit of salve and bandage the worst of the cuts

i will rest tonight knowing that tomorrow i will find myself in another shard strewn path

the shards of shattered minds are not my own

at least for now

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Certain

Certain

It’s silly really, a woman of a certain age dividing my life into before and after I lost her.
She was very old, living in a world I couldn’t reach, beyond signs of recognition or communication
But she loved me.  

I am certain of that.

How old do I have to grow before I don’t feel the longing for her presence anymore?
How long until I stop feeling the loss of being able to talk over my troubles with her?  
It has been decades since she could advise me, but still she loved me. 

 I am certain of that.

Perhaps that is the hardest loss, knowing that no one will ever love me that way again
A mother’s love is unlike any other; I learned that when I had my own child.   He is a man now and doesn’t need me in the ways he once did.  But still, he knows I love him.

 I am certain of that.

Soft Carpet

Soft Carpet 

 

I wake in the pre-dawn hours, my to-do list already scrolling in my head. 

 

Groceries to buy, meds to sort, bills to pay. Navigating routes to ferry one to a medical appointment while efficiently running errands for the other. An endless list, devoid of my own needs or pleasures. 

 

I just want to stay in bed. I want a day when no one needs anything from me. When taking time for myself isn’t guilt inducing. I want to paint and create, write poetry and string beads. I want a long soak in a hot bath. I need a pedicure. There is no time for such luxuries. 

 

I’m feeling sorry for myself. Time to put my feet on the floor. As I stand, I am reminded of how soft the carpet feels under my bare feet. And in that moment, I know that I am already surrounded by pleasures and luxuries. 

  

I just need to pay attention. 

Crack and Shatter

Crack and Shatter 

 

Standing on the corner of Crack and Shatter

Wondering where the pieces will fall.

Some of the small ones are already flaking away.

I try to pick up the tiny shards, but they disappear in my hands. 

 

Some days I can't remember how I got to this place.

I suppose it was step by step but perhaps it isn't helpful to know, 

There is still a long road ahead.

I need to find some glue. 

What Does Broken Look Like?

 

What does broken look like 

When there are no fragments of glass on the floor 

And there are no cracks in the wall? 

 

What does broken look like 

When the meals are made 

And the house is clean? 

 

What does broken look like 

When the music still plays 

And the artwork is bright? 

 

What does broken look like 

When greetings are cheerful 

And smiles are unwavering? 

 

Perhaps it looks like the man on the subway 

The woman in the grocery store 

The child on the school bus. 

 

Perhaps it looks like the clerk in the convenience store 

The receptionist in the dentist office 

The server in the restaurant. 

 

So much invisible pain 

So many invisible people 

So few glances in the mirror.